Little-Red-Dotted Girls

Met this Malaysian guy from Sabah during Res Wars (Bond's version of Inter-Hall Games)today.

There are a few Malaysian guys here, so there was nothing special about that...

...Until he said that his father doesn't like Singapore girls.

"Why not?" I asked, with an underlying we're-so-nice-how-can-anyone-not-like-us question all squeezed into that little two words.

"He finds them too materialistic," he said, adding that Singaporeans are generally more "wu2 qing2" and are so busy working that they don't have time for anyone or anything else.

I did my best to salvage his image of Singapore girls, but could only fumble around trying to build a substantial argument against that. (hey but at least i tried yah? hehe)

But he was nice enough and said that nobody's to blame and it's most probably just a trait of all people who live in cities rather than suburbs or the countryside.

Even though the Straits Times has reported before that Singaporean men themselves find Singaporean gals too practical and materialistic -- and that's why they go look for demure and docile Vietnamese brides -- this is the first time somebody has said that to my face and forced me to come up with my own response.

I still don't know what to say to that, but i think we're not that bad. Maybe we value having a good life eg having a nice house, nice car etc, but who doesn't?

At least we're not as bad as the girl in the story below.

I faked infertility to keep my career
Friday, February 2, 2007
My career has always been my first love, but when I was 31 I agreed to marry a lovely man that I had been seeing for several years.

Sam was really keen to have children straight away but I was focussed on my job and doing really well so I managed to convince him to wait a few years. He kept bringing up the topic and, although I was still not interested, I eventually agreed to start trying for a family.

I started taking folic acid and calcium and stopped drinking alcohol. But secretly I kept taking the pill. I felt terrible but I knew that if I got pregnant now I would lose my job, I figured this was the best way to keep everyone happy. Besides, by this time I was still only 34 and figured that I still had plenty of time to have children later, when I had achieved what I wanted at work.

Sam was so excited, he started buying little present for our 'baby' and spent time researching the best cots, car seats and carriers. I felt bad but I'd just been promoted again and was able to throw myself into work and forget about my lie.

Each month when I got my period Sam was so sad, and I had to pretend to be too. He'd cook me special meals full of baby-making vitamins and burn oils that supposedly promoted fertility. After a year of "unsuccessful attempts" Sam suggested seeing a fertility specialist. I put it off as long as I could but eventually I had to agree to go along.

I felt sick sitting in a waiting room surrounding by hopeful looking couples waiting nervously. I had to lie to the doctor and undergo a series of tests. When I couldn't take it anymore I broke down and cried to Sam that all the testing was too intrusive and made me feel like a failure. I was consumed by guilt. As always, Sam was so wonderful and supportive, I hated lying to him.

By this time Sam has spent loads of money on all kinds of "natural treatments" and with the stress of it all, along with me working longer and longer hours at work, we began to fight. Sam resented me spending so much time at work and putting extra stress on my body. Gradually we stopped fighting and gave up on the idea of a baby of our own.

Today I am 46 and have pretty much missed out on my chance to have children. It hurts me to watch the sad look on Sam's face when he plays with our friends' children. And it hurts me even more to watch the sympathetic look that my poor childless husband gives me; misinterpreting my guilt for the pain of being unable to give him what he wanted.

No job is that important. If only I'd realised this 10 years ago.

- Woman's Day

That's a really sad story.

Just in case you think i'm so free to go and find a story just to illustrate my point, you're wrong. haha. Stumbled upon that story while trying to get ideas for my second journalism assignment, which is to write a real-life story such as the one above. Other examples include "I was raped on my first date", "I invented a fiance to get a job" blah blah blah..you get the idea.

So if you have any interesting life story, know of any waiting to be told, or simply heard anything through gossip (now you know where journalists get their ideas), tell me yah! Names will be kept confidential :) Or you can pray that I'll able to get someone for an interview soon, because my first draft is due next week!

And with so many deadlines approaching like a ticking time bomb, who in the right mind would spend time thinking whether Singapore girls are materialistic or not? No one, except this procrastinator who just spent an hour typing out a blog on that.

Sigh. That's why my work doesn't get done.